samantha mexican mulder. (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} britishwannabe1) wrote,@ 2009-08-03 18:21:00 |
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| Entry tags: | people: d-borz, people: d-chov, person: e-desch, person: g-andz, picspam, ship: booth/brennan, ship: mulder/scully, show: bones, show: the x-files |
the randoms, I bring them.
I dedicate this massive picspam to mah dear Loosi, the lovely zerodetorresfor listening to my picspam anxiety and giving me the caps of Booth's lovely belt buckle. ILU gurl.
...
The Epic 'TWELVE SRS BISNIS REASONS' Picspam
...
The Bones Edition.
1. Epps' moldy mother.
Howard Epps is a pretty freaky dude.
He has the whole demented eyeball thing going on.
He leans into you really close when he speaks.
He creepily fantasizes over Brennan.
He apparently didn't like his hair color so the first thing he did when he escaped from prison was get a really bad dye job.
But then there was his mother. His smelly mother.
He has the whole demented eyeball thing going on.
He leans into you really close when he speaks.
He creepily fantasizes over Brennan.
He apparently didn't like his hair color so the first thing he did when he escaped from prison was get a really bad dye job.
But then there was his mother. His smelly mother.
BOOTH: (Whispering.) What’s that smell?
BRENNAN: It’s mold. It grows in the fat creases of morbidly obese people.
MRS. EPPS: What is this about? Did you bring me here to make fun of me?
And I was simultaneously dead from the lulz and the pure disgust.
2. The Breakdown of the Eye Sex.
All of you out there might think that the eye!sex is cute and sweet.
But I'm here to tell you UR WRONG.
The eye!sex is very srs bisnis. It's a complicated process that requires a planetary alignment of many elementz.
ALLOW ME TO DETAIL.
1. It begins with a lean in and an offering of some sort.
2. Booth uses his 'charm smile'.
3. Brennan does the girly flirtatious look.
4. The eventual offering acceptance.
5. The continual staring into each other's eyes for an inappropriate length of time.
But I'm here to tell you UR WRONG.
The eye!sex is very srs bisnis. It's a complicated process that requires a planetary alignment of many elementz.
ALLOW ME TO DETAIL.
1. It begins with a lean in and an offering of some sort.
2. Booth uses his 'charm smile'.
3. Brennan does the girly flirtatious look.
4. The eventual offering acceptance.
5. The continual staring into each other's eyes for an inappropriate length of time.
3. Hodgins' Experiment Fails.
We love Hodgins, we really do.
We love him because his chesticles make the fangirls go boom.
And we love him because he brought the tears when he was srs bisnis in Aliens.
However, Hodge Podge can bring the failsauce sometimes.
Exhibit A: The Turkey Incident
Exhibit B: The Watermelon Incident (or if Laura is reading this, the Cam Bits Incident)
4. Angela's TGIF hip swing.
Angela is rarely srs bisnis, except for when she is, but when she's not, we get stuff like this that makes me LOL everytime I watch The Man in the Wall.
Angela: TGIF? You heard of it?
5. Caroline Julian's legal advice.
We all know Caroline Julian is a fierce bitch. She's so fierce, hard hat needs her to protect itself.
Plus, it's just rude to accuse her of her murder.
But mostly, she's just an unconventional lawyer with the most unconventional legal advice.
Lose the Cocky belt buckle.
No buttons saying "Resist Authority" or "The Truth is Out There"
Do not cut your own hair the day before a trial.
Ugly up a little bit.
Use your fully grown-up words.
Eat.
Some srs bisnis stuff yo.
Plus, it's just rude to accuse her of her murder.
But mostly, she's just an unconventional lawyer with the most unconventional legal advice.
Lose the Cocky belt buckle.
No buttons saying "Resist Authority" or "The Truth is Out There"
Do not cut your own hair the day before a trial.
Ugly up a little bit.
Use your fully grown-up words.
Eat.
Some srs bisnis stuff yo.
6. Emily and David exuding hot, adorable, goofy love.
This is EDESCH.
She is srs bisnis beautiful, with her cute smile, sophisticated air, and cute vegan ways.
This is DBORZ.
He is srs bisnis sexy, with his perfect chesticles, debonair swagger, and 'do me' facial expressions.
So naturally, when we place two such people together, shippers go pop and their on-screen chemistry starts fucking with our heads. Then they start acting like this in public:
AND MY MIND IS IN THE GUTTER.
However, what I really love about ~Demily~ is the way they are just adorable and precious together.
PICTORIAL EVIDENCE:
zomg!
OMG THEY ARE PERFECT TOGETHER
I love goofy!Emily
cheek!kiss makes mah shipper heart go into cardiac arrest
7. Cam getting ready to beat a bitch with a crowbar.
GET READY FOR THE FIERCEST SHOT IN BONES HISTORY. CAM IS SRS BISNIS.
ummmmm, bitch.
8. Zack's halloween costume.
Let me tell you a little story. The story of Zack.
It starts like this:
All poor Zack ever wanted in life was to be taken srs bisnis.
Goodman wouldn't take him srs bisnis even though he has half way through two Ph.Ds.
He couldn't please ~Naomi in Paleontology~
He wanted to show those nerds at MIT but his robot kinda failed for awhile.
His body basically failed in general to Hodgins.
Kathy Reichs wouldn't take him srs with that haircut.
So he tried to get a srs bisnis makeover.
And despite the fact that four seconds later he became the equivalent of the bee in The X-Files, I was going along with this new, srs bisnis Zack.
Until it happened.
The cow costume.
And I never took him srs bisnis again (I actually can't take anyone srs bisnis in this scene).
The End.
9. Brennan's hair in A Boy in the Tree.
I dunno why, but Brennan's hair in aBitT is fucking fabulous. It's like perfectly wavy and I'm like 'bitch, in real life a hard-working lab rat wouldn't have luxurious locks like that', but fuck it, her hair is beautiful I decided to mini-spam it in all it's epic Brennanite glory.
~sunshine reflekshuns~
the ~delicately-placed bang~
she knows she's fabulous
~delicately-placed bang~ exhibit b
the subtle soft wave~
the srs bisnis pose with the srs bisnis hair
ahhh, smiles with the prettay hair
10. Parker Booth.
Lemme tell you something. Parker Booth means srs bisnis. Look at the smile. That is a srs bisnis smile.
IT'S ONE OF THE MANY REASONS TO LOVE HIM.
THE OTHER TOP THREE REASONS INCLUDE:
He brings out hot!daddy Booth
He made this pathetic face that made me want to eat him up with some mint chocolate chip ice cream
His srs bisnis thinking Peru is in Africa
Basically, he's just a charmer like Papa Booth. And his curly blonde mop has stolen my heart.
11. The Cocky belt buckle
The Cocky belt buckle, while it brings out the quirky side of our favorite G-man, has provided us with many good tiems in Bones history, and has taught us many lessons.
The Cocky belt buckle, while it brings out the quirky side of our favorite G-man, has provided us with many good tiems in Bones history, and has taught us many lessons.
It gave us a great shot of Booth's crotch.
It proved that daily household items can be very vital in life or death situations.
And it gave us this cute scene in Hero in the Hold, providing us with a Booth!squintyface and the knowledge that Brennan's hair, despite it's fabulousity in Boy in the Tree, can't always be perfect.
It proved that daily household items can be very vital in life or death situations.
And it gave us this cute scene in Hero in the Hold, providing us with a Booth!squintyface and the knowledge that Brennan's hair, despite it's fabulousity in Boy in the Tree, can't always be perfect.
12. That one scene where Hodgins, Goodman, and Zack overcomplicate the concept of picking names for Secret Santa.
One of the greatest sources of humor on this show is the clash between the instinctuals and the intellectuals, the battle between the earthlings and the brainiacs. The humor in this dynamic was never more apparent than in this scene.
ANGELA: Alright, we need a way to choose our Secret Santas.
ZACK: I could build a random generator.
GOODMAN: Ah, wouldn’t it be better to match complimentary people in a premeditated manner?
HODGINS: I’ve got five numbers in my head and five letters. You tell me the number and I’ll tell you the matching letter.
[As the three of them argue, Booth and Angela begin their own method of choosing, Booth writing names on paper.]
GOODMAN: Are the letters sequential or the numbers sequential?
HODGINS: Sequential, we’ll go in order from oldest to youngest.
ZACK: Six.
HODGINS: There’s no six.
GOODMAN: A through E and one through five.
[Booth clears his throat to interrupt them, holding up a metal container with the names in it.]
BOOTH: Pick a name, and if you get your own, put it back in.
GOODMAN: Oh, that could work.
HODGINS: Yeah, that’s good.
ANGELA: Good idea.
The X-Files Edition.
1. Mulder and Scully dance to Cher.
The Cher factor is kinda random, but fuck my life if Mulder and Scully dancing to Walking in Memphis isn't the cutest thing in the XF fandom. It's my second favorite ending to an XF episode ever.
The X-Files; Episode 5.06: The Post-Modern Prometheus.
The third cap seriously makes me yell MAKE OUT PLZ at my TV in a loud whisper.
The third cap seriously makes me yell MAKE OUT PLZ at my TV in a loud whisper.
2. Villians inspire Urban Dictionary vocabulary.
This is Donny Pfaster, aka, Creepee Mothah Fuqer. He's staring at you.
Donny Pfaster likes to give his victims baths and then kill them so that he can cut off their hair and fingernails.
He developed a fascination with the luscious red locks and perfect fingernails of one Dana Scully.
*fancy artistic shots*
Point is, Donny Pfaster has stalker written all over is freaky, buttoned-up self *continues to bore into your soul*
And when The XF fandom is obsessive, it brings the love into the slang.
Via Urban Dictionary.com:
3. Scully's white tank top of cleavagetasticness.
Trufax: Scully is hot. Other trufax: The hotness is always covered up in G-woman suits that while (sometimes) flattering, don't display her kick-ass bod the way a Scully kick ass bod deserves to shown to the world. So through the recurrence of a certain plain white tank, the philes were finally able to get what they deserve.
Oh hai Scully bewbs, mah name is Sam and allow me to introduce you to fandom. I have a feeling you guys will be great friends.
A little ~sideways action~
What are you screaming, Scully? Sorry I can't hear you over the sounds of the BEWB STRAIN.
Yum, kickass arms.
This scene shouldn't be hotbut it totally is
Here's some nekkid Mulder to balance out the girlcrush.I want to lick his stomach.
A little ~sideways action~
What are you screaming, Scully? Sorry I can't hear you over the sounds of the BEWB STRAIN.
Yum, kickass arms.
This scene shouldn't be hot
Here's some nekkid Mulder to balance out the girlcrush.
4. Our duo when they're on drugs.
1. Mulder singing Shaft in Bad Blood- Perhaps the funniest episode of a predominantly dramatic show ever. Words can not express the complete and utter hilarity of this episode in which Mulder and Scully both bring their respective funnies to the proverbial comedic table. This part has to make my top three favorite Mulder moments ever. And pictures do not do it justice so I provide filmic evidence via the glorious YouTube. Can ya dig it??
1. Mulder singing Shaft in Bad Blood- Perhaps the funniest episode of a predominantly dramatic show ever. Words can not express the complete and utter hilarity of this episode in which Mulder and Scully both bring their respective funnies to the proverbial comedic table. This part has to make my top three favorite Mulder moments ever. And pictures do not do it justice so I provide filmic evidence via the glorious YouTube. Can ya dig it??
2. Scully's 'medical opinion' in Three of a Kind- Okay, Scully on drugs is even more funny than Mulder on drugs because Scully on drugs is the opposite of Scully when she's not on drugs. She's a bimbo who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. And I've watched Three of a Kind over and over again just for the ScullyIsHigh!Lulz.
Langly: Ummmm Scully? What killed him?
Scully: My medical opinion? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
5. The 'pour cold waterz on self' photoshoots of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.
HEY YA'LL.
WHO REMEMBERS FIRST GRADE MATH?
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE ONE YUMMY PERSON:
AND ADD IT TO ANOTHER YUMMY PERSON?
YOU GET PHOTOSHOOTS WHERE MY BRAINS ARE GOING KABLEWIE
le bewb snuggle
~doing it doggy style~
6. The 90s LULZ.
This pic kinda sums it up.
7. Skinner in his tighty whities.
There are times when Assistant Director Walter Skinner is srs bisnis, liek dis:
And then there are times when we just can't take him srsly, liek dis:
LOL WUT.
8. That one awkward scene of ossum UST-y goodness and yummy nekkid people in One Son.
This doesn't really need commentary, the facial expressions say everything.
LOL FER REAL.
LOL FER REAL.
9. Scully's finely manicured nails.
Point blank, Scully has fierce nails. They're always so perfect and I'm like WAT whenever I see them. Bitch is fabulous, muttha fuck.
Point blank, Scully has fierce nails. They're always so perfect and I'm like WAT whenever I see them. Bitch is fabulous, muttha fuck.
Dana Scully: An HBIC down to the fingernails. No wonder Pfaster wanted to keep her fingers as souvenirs in a package of frozen peas.
10. Queequeg.
This is Queequeg.
He is the fucking adorable pomeranian of Dana 'I'm a medical doctor!' Scully.
Trufax, Queequeg got to canoodle with Scully before Mulder did.
Queequeg makes my life because he's fluffy and well, his name is Queequeg.
Then he got eaten by a ~monster~
I was sadpants, as was Scully, obvs.
11. Mulder's hospital tantrums.
One of the things that the shippers love about Mulder is how much he needs our petite redhead. Being the unconventional and rule-defying guy he is, Mulder is not afraid to yell at poor innocent hospital officials or attempt to punch the assistant director of the F.B.I. when he feels like he's losing his Scully to a coma or cancer or one of the other fifty things Scully has been in the hospital before (4srs, doesn't seem like she's ALWAYS in the hospital?). These tantrums often end up in him being dragged out of the hospital room. HE LOVES HER. Therefore, us shippers can't help but squeal when he gets into violent!Mulder mode. And it's pretty hot too, when Mulder gets all defensive. Makes me want to ~cool him down~ and then lick his wounds.
One of the things that the shippers love about Mulder is how much he needs our petite redhead. Being the unconventional and rule-defying guy he is, Mulder is not afraid to yell at poor innocent hospital officials or attempt to punch the assistant director of the F.B.I. when he feels like he's losing his Scully to a coma or cancer or one of the other fifty things Scully has been in the hospital before (4srs, doesn't seem like she's ALWAYS in the hospital?). These tantrums often end up in him being dragged out of the hospital room. HE LOVES HER. Therefore, us shippers can't help but squeal when he gets into violent!Mulder mode. And it's pretty hot too, when Mulder gets all defensive. Makes me want to ~cool him down~ and then lick his wounds.
Exhibit A:
The X-Files; Episode 2.08: One Breath.
Mulder: (shouting) How did she get here?
Nurse: Ms. Scully was in this condition when I arrived for the evening shift. If you'll step outside perhaps Dr. Daly...
Mulder: Is that Daly? Are you Daly? What's wrong, how the hell did she get here?!
Daly: Would you settle down?
Mulder: Was it paramedics? FBI? Military? Answer me now!
Daly: I...
Mulder: What, you're telling me she just appeared?! Who did this to her?
Daly: Sir...
Mulder: I want to see her admission forms! Who did this to her?! I want to see what tests have been done! (starts throwing admissions forms around, security starts to carry him out) Listen, if you're hiding anything, I swear, I will do anything, whatever it takes, I will find out what they did to her!
Honestly, I think the biggest mystery surrounding Scully at this point is how the hell her boobs got so big. WTF.
Exhibit B:
The X-Files; Episode 5.03: Redux II.
Mulder: What happened to her?
Skinner: She went into hypovolemic shock.
Mulder: Due to what? (no answer) Due to what?!
Skinner: She's dying! Let's go. (He grabs Mulder's arm)
Mulder: Let go of me!
Skinner: There's nothing you can do! (Mulder punches at Skinner)
Mulder: Get the hell off of me!
Skinner: Don't do this! Don't! (Him and a suited guy carry Mulder away)
All the while Scully doesn't know what the hell is going on.
The X-Files; Episode 2.08: One Breath.
Mulder: (shouting) How did she get here?
Nurse: Ms. Scully was in this condition when I arrived for the evening shift. If you'll step outside perhaps Dr. Daly...
Mulder: Is that Daly? Are you Daly? What's wrong, how the hell did she get here?!
Daly: Would you settle down?
Mulder: Was it paramedics? FBI? Military? Answer me now!
Daly: I...
Mulder: What, you're telling me she just appeared?! Who did this to her?
Daly: Sir...
Mulder: I want to see her admission forms! Who did this to her?! I want to see what tests have been done! (starts throwing admissions forms around, security starts to carry him out) Listen, if you're hiding anything, I swear, I will do anything, whatever it takes, I will find out what they did to her!
Honestly, I think the biggest mystery surrounding Scully at this point is how the hell her boobs got so big. WTF.
Exhibit B:
The X-Files; Episode 5.03: Redux II.
Mulder: What happened to her?
Skinner: She went into hypovolemic shock.
Mulder: Due to what? (no answer) Due to what?!
Skinner: She's dying! Let's go. (He grabs Mulder's arm)
Mulder: Let go of me!
Skinner: There's nothing you can do! (Mulder punches at Skinner)
Mulder: Get the hell off of me!
Skinner: Don't do this! Don't! (Him and a suited guy carry Mulder away)
All the while Scully doesn't know what the hell is going on.
12. Mulder validating Scully's teeny-tinyness.
For me, one of the funniest aspects of the Mulder/Scully relationship is the fact that Scully is so effing short. I don't even know why, it's just one of those endearing and squishable things that when he hugs her, she can practically disappear in himand then he smells her luscious red locks. So the first time that the show actually recognizes Scully's vertical challenge, it's LOL-arious.
For me, one of the funniest aspects of the Mulder/Scully relationship is the fact that Scully is so effing short. I don't even know why, it's just one of those endearing and squishable things that when he hugs her, she can practically disappear in him
LOL AWKWARD MOMENT.
The aftermathz...
Mulder: Let me drive.
Scully: I'm driving.
Mulder: Scully, it's not what you think.
Scully. I didn't see anything anyway.
Mulder: Will you let me drive?!
Scully: I'm driv... Why do you always have to drive?! Because you're the man? Because you're the big macho-man?
Mulder: No. I was just never sure if your little feet could reach the pedals.
*is totally burned and knows it*
lol.
This has been your random Scully frilly shirt minispam. She thanks you for your cooperation.
I will now take your comments.
